I try to look the man sitting across from me in the eyes, but I can't. His eyes aren't exactly in sync, so I can focus on one or the other, but not both.
"There will be two of us in the room," the man says. "Myself, and one other."
"Okay," I say, trying to act like the entire situation isn't disturbing at all.
"I will be the one with the knives," the man says, nodding once. "I'll be doing the cutting."
"What," I say, "will the other one be doing?"
He smiles at me, and I try to smile back, but my face twitches involuntarily instead.
"He will be in charge of keeping you still," the man says. "While I cut into you."
"Oh," I say, not really reassured in any way. I'm suddenly more worried about The Stillness than I am the impending knives and blood.
"I know, I know," the man says, finally breaking the gaze he'd held on me since we began. "You think that you can take it, that you'll be fine holding still. But you won't."
"I...well," I start, not really sure if I want to talk about this.
"You'll scream and thrash," the man continues, getting a distant look in his eyes, clearly remembering something. "And I'll end up cutting things in the wrong order. Or things I never meant to cut at all."
He looks back at me, smiling again. "That can be very messy," he says.
"And painful?" I ask.
"Probably," he says. "You can't always tell if the screaming is from fear or pain."
"Ah," I croak.
"Frankly," he says, shrugging. "I'd rather not think about it."
"Yeah, okay," I say, standing. My throat has gone quite dry.
The man opens the door, gesturing me out.
"See you on Tuesday," he says.
"There will be two of us in the room," the man says. "Myself, and one other."
"Okay," I say, trying to act like the entire situation isn't disturbing at all.
"I will be the one with the knives," the man says, nodding once. "I'll be doing the cutting."
"What," I say, "will the other one be doing?"
He smiles at me, and I try to smile back, but my face twitches involuntarily instead.
"He will be in charge of keeping you still," the man says. "While I cut into you."
"Oh," I say, not really reassured in any way. I'm suddenly more worried about The Stillness than I am the impending knives and blood.
"I know, I know," the man says, finally breaking the gaze he'd held on me since we began. "You think that you can take it, that you'll be fine holding still. But you won't."
"I...well," I start, not really sure if I want to talk about this.
"You'll scream and thrash," the man continues, getting a distant look in his eyes, clearly remembering something. "And I'll end up cutting things in the wrong order. Or things I never meant to cut at all."
He looks back at me, smiling again. "That can be very messy," he says.
"And painful?" I ask.
"Probably," he says. "You can't always tell if the screaming is from fear or pain."
"Ah," I croak.
"Frankly," he says, shrugging. "I'd rather not think about it."
"Yeah, okay," I say, standing. My throat has gone quite dry.
The man opens the door, gesturing me out.
"See you on Tuesday," he says.
The Stillness would make an awesome band name. Also, I imagine the first album would be called something like "Scream & Thrash."
Posted by: Gretchen | February 18, 2008 at 11:03 AM
And a moment of silence as we remember Dean's tonsils before they are gone forever...
Posted by: the wife | February 18, 2008 at 02:57 PM
Good luck, man. You make it sound more fun in your post than I actually think it'll be.
I imagine they might even sedate you.
Poor guy.
Posted by: Marcus Aurelius | February 18, 2008 at 04:32 PM
I don't remember the Stillness much as the acrtic climate when regaining conciousness. Cold, so cold....
Posted by: MAYday | February 18, 2008 at 06:11 PM
I thought this was about a surgery! And if what Shannon implies is true, you're going to be eating (drinking) your food liquefied for the next few weeks...
And don't try to play the saxophone. I hear it doesn't work so well with a huge scab at the back of one's throat.
Posted by: Q | February 18, 2008 at 09:07 PM
I think I just lost my happy childhood. I think I'm traumatised. I know I'm traumatised. Please, please tell me that was exaggerated...
Dang, my operation's the day after yours. Feedback on procedure appreciated. (cut the gore)
Posted by: flyyhigh | February 18, 2008 at 09:33 PM
*Flyhigh wrote: (cut the gore)*
That's funny on so many levels. Especially given to whom the request was made.
Hee.
Posted by: Marcus Aurelius | February 19, 2008 at 09:28 AM
"That's funny on so many levels. Especially given to whom the request was made.
Hee."
That's funny. Teehee.
You're so lucky, Dean. After getting tonsils removed, people get to eat lots of ice cream. Or so I've heard.
Posted by: Katee | February 21, 2008 at 09:15 AM
My reaction: Hm. Ick. Grin.
I didn't eat a single bit of ice cream after my tonsils were gone, because I was so miserable they forced me to consume what I did.
But best of luck to you!
Posted by: Burning | February 21, 2008 at 01:30 PM
Er...*runs away*...*comes back with ten bags of chips, three tubs of ice-cream, and a huge tray of chocolate chip cookies*...
Hope everything goes...well... : )
Posted by: Bohae | February 22, 2008 at 11:26 PM
Please, sir, may I have some more (crumbs)?
Posted by: flyyhigh | February 24, 2008 at 06:30 AM
flyyhigh--he's probably still drugged up from the surgery. That or he's using surgery as an excuse not to post. Disgraceful. I would have expected a "Five reasons to NOT get your tonsils taken out" or "Five horrible things about sugery."
Posted by: Q | February 24, 2008 at 09:26 AM
Now, now, be fair. Considering the vast quantity of sedatives it probably took to just to get poor Dean to come to the hospital after this conversation, we'll be lucky to see something from him in the next month.
We feel your pain, Dean...well, hopefully not *literally*, but I'm fairly sure you understand that.
Posted by: Shawn | February 25, 2008 at 05:58 PM
So are you saying he's still probably on a couch somewhere, mostly asleep, letting his ice cream melt on the table beside him? WITHOUT sharing his ice cream either?
(Just kidding, Dean. I guess you have a good excuse to not post.)
Posted by: Q | February 26, 2008 at 01:09 PM