Five Reasons It Is Bad To Get Hit in the Head With an Awl

1. The cavity it makes is very distinctive, making it difficult to later claim you were struck by something much cooler, like a +3 Rapier of Squealing, or a helicopter.
2. While easily cleaned, the typical awl wielder does not take that opportunity. And having the previous victim's dried blood and hair embedded in your head wound? That's just nasty.
3. You get much less sympathy from people when you're required to stop your tale of woe midscream to try to explain what an awl is. And then spell it.
4. Worse still, people assume you're saying "I was hit in the head with a ball," and they can't figure out what the big deal is.
5. You start to wake up dressed in clothes you don't recognize and frequently find notes on the refrigerator, in your handwriting, that say "Don't open the refrigerator."

Comments

[Q]

I know what an awl is. After the Battle of Little Bighorn, General Custer was stabbed in each ear with one because the woman who did it said that he needed to learn how to open his ears (paraphrased).

[Gretchen]

Q, I think I'll pick up an awl next time I'm at the store to use on the guys in my life. (But don't worry--I will clean it. Let's just say I'm not your typical awl wielder.)

[Q]

Or find chopsticks. They work too, even though they generally aren't as sharp. They are still excellent weapons. Wear them in your hair--then you can whip them out when you need to.

[faith]

Actually, the skinny pointed sticks I use for hand-weaving are much better then chopsticks. You can look innocent as you sit weaving, and then- BAM- you stick it in someone's head. Pretty cool, huh?

[Q]

Yes, but if you're wandering around in a big city or on a date, it's going to look less conspicuous to have chopsticks in your hair. Though I'm sure your sticks would work wonderfully.

[Faith]

Not a problem with me. Youth is awesome. I don't live in a big city- OK I live in a fairly big city- but going on a date isn't a problem to my awl-stabbing talents. ;)

[Faith]

Oh, but if I took chopsticks our of my hair, my hair would get messed up!
*snort*
Q, your idea combines fashion with weaponry. I like it.

[Q]

Well, I can't put my hair up just in chopsticks and have it stay. I need bobby pins. The chopsticks in my case are ornamental and diobolical, but not structural.

Wouldn't it look cool, though, to just whip chopsticks out of your hair and have it come swirling down as you say, "Prepare to meet your match!"

Oh wait. You were being sarcastic.

Wow, can you tell how tired I am?