Here's something I don't understand. Occasionally, when I am comfortably seated in the bathroom stall at work and the single other stall is also occupied, a third person will enter the bathroom. That isn't the confusing part - lots of people seem to share my waste disposal schedule. The odd thing is that this third person will walk over to the door of my stall and stand there for several seconds, swaying. Sometimes they will try a few soft tugs at the door to see if it will open. All this is disturbing. If I was at home at night and someone was exhibiting identical behavior outside my front door, I would call the police. Or quickly open the door and scream in their face. As the lurker at the restroom could easily be someone with the power to fire me, however, I have to be more subtle. Sort of.
Five things I do to reward the psychopath for his patience in standing outside the bathroom stall
Five things I do to reward the psychopath for his patience in standing outside the bathroom stall
- Make soft oinking noises
- Whisper "Shhh! Someone is right outside the door!"
- Sing three improvised verses of "I Love A Good Poo"
- Whine "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin" every time he tries the door
- Complement the visitor on his fine taste in shoes and attempt to engage him in a dialogue on the deplorable state of cordwainery in the Americas
I know that that's my favorite bathroom sing along.
Posted by: Celes | August 31, 2007 at 01:46 PM
Deffinately number 3. A classic that no self respecting human can resist.
Posted by: Jeff | August 31, 2007 at 01:54 PM
Number four is my favorite.
Posted by: Q | August 31, 2007 at 02:08 PM
I have never heard of #3's song. My favorite is #2.
Posted by: Taiger | August 31, 2007 at 03:09 PM
Well thank you very much. Your shoes are lovely too.
Posted by: Enna Isilee | August 31, 2007 at 03:20 PM
^ That was you? For shame. ;)
Posted by: Taiger | August 31, 2007 at 11:07 PM
Of course it wasn't me! I never go into the men's room.
...
Posted by: Enna Isilee | September 02, 2007 at 01:49 PM
I love two. But then I love four. Then five.
Posted by: Katee | September 03, 2007 at 02:17 PM
Number four is definitely my favorite!
Posted by: Caroline | September 03, 2007 at 10:08 PM
I'm shocked! "soft oinking noises" is the one that sent me into fits of giggles while reading this at work...teaching high school. And they are watching a movie! At least I got this link from a student in the class! :)
Posted by: co | September 07, 2007 at 08:22 AM