"An Awkward Lunch"

"So how is it," I ask. "Really?"
Mike puts the remains of his sandwich on the table and sighs.
"Oh, I love it," he says, shrugging. "I do."
"Very convincing," I say.
"I'm not saying it isn't hard," he says, massaging his temples.
"So I gather," I say. "What is it that.."
"It cries," he interrupts. "No. It screams. All the time."
"So the noise is a problem?" I ask.
"That's hard, no question," he says. "But the real issue is seeing it happen. It's too much."
"Seeing it happen?" I ask. "The crying?"
"Yes," he says, looking at me like a drowning man. "The mouth is...is like an open wound. A clotted toothless wound." From the look on his face, I'm afraid he might actually start crying.
Trying to defuse what could turn into an uncomfortable situation, I do my best to turn it onto myself. "So," I laugh, "I guess Anna and I shouldn't have kids."
He looks up at me, confused. "What?"
"Sorry," I say. "Dumb joke."
"Wait," he says. "Are you talking about my new baby?"
"Um," I say. "What are you talking about?"
"The...uh..." he says, looking around the room, "the baby. No, I was talking about the baby."
I stare at him. "Okay..." I say.
He stares back.
"You tell anybody about this and you're dead," he says.

Comments

[Katee]

My first thought was "..."

My second thought was "Okay..."

My third thought was "Wow, that's brilliant!"

[Gretchen]

I love the suspense of opening the page to a new microstory and sloooowly scrolling down, with absolutely zero idea of how it will turn out. This was a good one for that.

[Taiger]

Hmm

[flyyhigh]

So what was he talking about?!

[Katee]

That's a mystery, darling.

[flyyhigh]

You're right. Anyway something tells me I don't really want to know.

[Katee]

And neither do I.