My Dad and I are eating breakfast when a man with a gun comes to the sliding glass door that faces our backyard. My Dad sees him first.
"Call the police, Jake," he says, standing slowly.
I turn to find out what my father is looking at in time to see the sliding glass door shatter. The noise is deafening, and I can only assume the man shattered the glass by firing the gun at it.
The next part I don't hear, my ears still ringing from the sound of the gun and glass. I see my father with his hands up, saying something. The gunman is pointing the gun directly at my father's face, and I want to yell, "Back up! Back up! He'll shoot you in the head!"
Then the man does just that, and my father goes down.
Before I know it, I've launched myself at the shooter, not even sure I'm in conscious control of my body until I have the intruder on the ground, my knee on his throat, struggling to free the gun from his hand. With a powerful twist, he wrenches me off, and I go tumbling. When I come to myself, I discover I am now holding the gun. I point the pistol at the intruder and fire.
I've never fired a gun before. Only intending to pull the trigger once, I end up firing several shots, my arm bouncing erratically with the recoil of each one. I open my eyes, not sure when I closed them, and see my father's killer crumpled on the ground supporting himself with his hands. One of his legs now ends with a clumpy red fountain, and I suspect the only bullets that reached him ended up in that foot.
Suddenly, the intruder lurches forward on his leg and a half. Spooked, I jerk backwards, slipping on blood and falling hard to the ground. It's just when I realize I've dropped the gun that I hear the sharp report of it being fired, and I'm sure I'm dead.
Except I'm not.
Getting up, I see the gunman had turned the pistol on himself, liberating his brain from his head.
I stand, staring at his body in silence. I am shocked and relieved, but I'm also furious. I am enraged at this psychopath who has broken into my home, killed my Dad, and denied me any revenge by shooting himself in the head. Every profane word I know suddenly collides in my mouth and I end up awkwardly screaming "FROGGA!" at the corpse on my kitchen floor.
I aggressively wipe a bit of spittle from my face and taste a coppery tang. Realizing my hands are covered in the killer's blood and I've just smeared my mouth with it, I start spitting and shaking, yelling "Gah!" at irregular intervals, ultimately slipping on the gore again and falling to the floor.
Groaning, I slump against the wall, energy spent. I should really call the police, but I'm just too exhausted from being spastic that I can't be bothered. My one consolation was that no one was here to see my ridiculous performance, but then I hear someone clear their throat.
I look up to see my Father looking at me, now sitting up where he'd been shot dead. There is a ragged hole in his forehead where the intruder shot him, but otherwise looks in pretty good shape.
"I know this seems like an odd time," he says. "But I think you should know that I'm not your biological father."
"Call the police, Jake," he says, standing slowly.
I turn to find out what my father is looking at in time to see the sliding glass door shatter. The noise is deafening, and I can only assume the man shattered the glass by firing the gun at it.
The next part I don't hear, my ears still ringing from the sound of the gun and glass. I see my father with his hands up, saying something. The gunman is pointing the gun directly at my father's face, and I want to yell, "Back up! Back up! He'll shoot you in the head!"
Then the man does just that, and my father goes down.
Before I know it, I've launched myself at the shooter, not even sure I'm in conscious control of my body until I have the intruder on the ground, my knee on his throat, struggling to free the gun from his hand. With a powerful twist, he wrenches me off, and I go tumbling. When I come to myself, I discover I am now holding the gun. I point the pistol at the intruder and fire.
I've never fired a gun before. Only intending to pull the trigger once, I end up firing several shots, my arm bouncing erratically with the recoil of each one. I open my eyes, not sure when I closed them, and see my father's killer crumpled on the ground supporting himself with his hands. One of his legs now ends with a clumpy red fountain, and I suspect the only bullets that reached him ended up in that foot.
Suddenly, the intruder lurches forward on his leg and a half. Spooked, I jerk backwards, slipping on blood and falling hard to the ground. It's just when I realize I've dropped the gun that I hear the sharp report of it being fired, and I'm sure I'm dead.
Except I'm not.
Getting up, I see the gunman had turned the pistol on himself, liberating his brain from his head.
I stand, staring at his body in silence. I am shocked and relieved, but I'm also furious. I am enraged at this psychopath who has broken into my home, killed my Dad, and denied me any revenge by shooting himself in the head. Every profane word I know suddenly collides in my mouth and I end up awkwardly screaming "FROGGA!" at the corpse on my kitchen floor.
I aggressively wipe a bit of spittle from my face and taste a coppery tang. Realizing my hands are covered in the killer's blood and I've just smeared my mouth with it, I start spitting and shaking, yelling "Gah!" at irregular intervals, ultimately slipping on the gore again and falling to the floor.
Groaning, I slump against the wall, energy spent. I should really call the police, but I'm just too exhausted from being spastic that I can't be bothered. My one consolation was that no one was here to see my ridiculous performance, but then I hear someone clear their throat.
I look up to see my Father looking at me, now sitting up where he'd been shot dead. There is a ragged hole in his forehead where the intruder shot him, but otherwise looks in pretty good shape.
"I know this seems like an odd time," he says. "But I think you should know that I'm not your biological father."
Wow.
And I thought I was having a bad day.
Posted by: Liz | July 23, 2007 at 09:01 PM
FROGGA!
Posted by: Enna Isilee | July 24, 2007 at 07:30 AM
Ok, that made me laugh pretty hard.
Posted by: Carson | July 24, 2007 at 08:13 AM
Wow.
That's amazing.
Posted by: Benjamin Kudria | July 24, 2007 at 08:17 AM
i KNEW he was going to say that.
Posted by: clairedelune | April 16, 2008 at 04:49 PM