Emily dropped her luggage in the hallway.
"Kevin!" she called out. "Kevin, I'm back!"
She had needed to leave on a business trip only a month after her wedding, and was excited to be reunited with her husband.
Peeking into the master bedroom, she found the bed empty.
It was seven o'clock on a Saturday morning, and she could think of no reason why Kevin wouldn't be home, much less not still in bed.
"Kevin?" she called again. "Where are you?"
As she checked the master bathroom, she heard the glass door facing their backyard slide open.
She walked silently back to the bedroom door and peered around it. While she was reasonably sure it was Kevin coming in from outside, she didn't want to announce her presence to any early-morning sneak thieves if she was mistaken.
It was Kevin, and he was standing on the doormat just outside, stamping his feet. He was covered in dirt. It looked as if he had been digging trenches using every free limb as a spade.
"Kevin!" she called, and he looked up. She hadn't known him long, but the "caught red handed" look on his face was unmistakable. She just wasn't sure what she caught him at.
She crossed the remaining distance to him and smiled. "You're filthy!" she said.
Having regained some control over his features, Kevin smiled sheepishly and moved to give her a hug, trying to close the door behind him.
"Oh no you don't, Pigpen," she said. "You need a shower first."
She craned around him to look in the backyard. "What were you doing out there?" she asked. "Digging us a pool, I hope."
"I..." he started, trying to block her way, but she risked the cleanliness of her blouse and pushed past him to get a better look.
Three rectangular mounds of dirt were lined up at the far end of the yard. They looked to be about four feet wide by seven feet long, and had the unmistakable appearance of freshly dug graves.
She looked back at Kevin, and saw he had grown quite serious. Unbidden, a chill ran down her spine.
"What..." she started. "What have you done?"
Kevin sighed and slid the door shut.
"I can explain," he said, stepping toward her.
She backed up, and he stopped, holding up his hands.
"It's okay," he said. "I won't hurt you."
"You...you won't hurt me?" she stammered. "But what, you will hurt other people? This is insane, Kevin!"
"Yes, I, I mean, no, I won't hurt..." he started, clearly flustered. He took several steps toward the mounds. "Just come over here. Let me show you."
"Show me?" she blurted. "Show me what? The dismembered corpses?"
He stared at her, uncomprehending for several seconds, and then started to laugh.
"Why are you laughing?" she asked. "Kevin. Stop."
Holding up his hands, he stifled his laughter, and a tear fell down his face, leaving a short trail of clean skin before falling to the ground.
"Okay, okay," he said. "I'm sorry. I can see how this looks now."
Emily waited, staring at him.
"Right," he said. "Just watch."
Taking a deep breath, Kevin ran toward the leftmost mound, jumping high several feet before it, arching his back, and diving straight into the mound of fresh dirt, burying himself headfirst up to his shoulders.
Emily's mouth opened in shocked confusion as she stared at Kevin's flailing legs poking up out of the soft earth.
His whole body was wriggling spasmodically, and she ran to him, intent on dragging him out before he suffocated, but just as she reached the mound, his body took three sharp jerks downward, and he was gone.
She stared at the hole where he had been, now filling up with the surrounding soil.
"Kevin?" she whispered.
After several seconds, she heard a strange vomiting sound behind her. She turned to see Kevin, halfway out of the third mound, spitting out dirt.
"Hey," he said, smiling at her with dirty teeth.
"You..." she started, pointing at the hole he recently vacated.
"I know," he said, squirming a little and rising a few inches. "I thought you'd be freaked out about my having earthworm blood, but after you thought I was a serial murderer, this must be a pleasant surprise."
Her finger still pointing at the first mound, she swiveled it around to the third that Kevin had nearly wriggled out of. "So these...are..." she started.
"Burrowing mounds, right," he said. "Except for the second one there, but that was self defense."
"Kevin!" she called out. "Kevin, I'm back!"
She had needed to leave on a business trip only a month after her wedding, and was excited to be reunited with her husband.
Peeking into the master bedroom, she found the bed empty.
It was seven o'clock on a Saturday morning, and she could think of no reason why Kevin wouldn't be home, much less not still in bed.
"Kevin?" she called again. "Where are you?"
As she checked the master bathroom, she heard the glass door facing their backyard slide open.
She walked silently back to the bedroom door and peered around it. While she was reasonably sure it was Kevin coming in from outside, she didn't want to announce her presence to any early-morning sneak thieves if she was mistaken.
It was Kevin, and he was standing on the doormat just outside, stamping his feet. He was covered in dirt. It looked as if he had been digging trenches using every free limb as a spade.
"Kevin!" she called, and he looked up. She hadn't known him long, but the "caught red handed" look on his face was unmistakable. She just wasn't sure what she caught him at.
She crossed the remaining distance to him and smiled. "You're filthy!" she said.
Having regained some control over his features, Kevin smiled sheepishly and moved to give her a hug, trying to close the door behind him.
"Oh no you don't, Pigpen," she said. "You need a shower first."
She craned around him to look in the backyard. "What were you doing out there?" she asked. "Digging us a pool, I hope."
"I..." he started, trying to block her way, but she risked the cleanliness of her blouse and pushed past him to get a better look.
Three rectangular mounds of dirt were lined up at the far end of the yard. They looked to be about four feet wide by seven feet long, and had the unmistakable appearance of freshly dug graves.
She looked back at Kevin, and saw he had grown quite serious. Unbidden, a chill ran down her spine.
"What..." she started. "What have you done?"
Kevin sighed and slid the door shut.
"I can explain," he said, stepping toward her.
She backed up, and he stopped, holding up his hands.
"It's okay," he said. "I won't hurt you."
"You...you won't hurt me?" she stammered. "But what, you will hurt other people? This is insane, Kevin!"
"Yes, I, I mean, no, I won't hurt..." he started, clearly flustered. He took several steps toward the mounds. "Just come over here. Let me show you."
"Show me?" she blurted. "Show me what? The dismembered corpses?"
He stared at her, uncomprehending for several seconds, and then started to laugh.
"Why are you laughing?" she asked. "Kevin. Stop."
Holding up his hands, he stifled his laughter, and a tear fell down his face, leaving a short trail of clean skin before falling to the ground.
"Okay, okay," he said. "I'm sorry. I can see how this looks now."
Emily waited, staring at him.
"Right," he said. "Just watch."
Taking a deep breath, Kevin ran toward the leftmost mound, jumping high several feet before it, arching his back, and diving straight into the mound of fresh dirt, burying himself headfirst up to his shoulders.
Emily's mouth opened in shocked confusion as she stared at Kevin's flailing legs poking up out of the soft earth.
His whole body was wriggling spasmodically, and she ran to him, intent on dragging him out before he suffocated, but just as she reached the mound, his body took three sharp jerks downward, and he was gone.
She stared at the hole where he had been, now filling up with the surrounding soil.
"Kevin?" she whispered.
After several seconds, she heard a strange vomiting sound behind her. She turned to see Kevin, halfway out of the third mound, spitting out dirt.
"Hey," he said, smiling at her with dirty teeth.
"You..." she started, pointing at the hole he recently vacated.
"I know," he said, squirming a little and rising a few inches. "I thought you'd be freaked out about my having earthworm blood, but after you thought I was a serial murderer, this must be a pleasant surprise."
Her finger still pointing at the first mound, she swiveled it around to the third that Kevin had nearly wriggled out of. "So these...are..." she started.
"Burrowing mounds, right," he said. "Except for the second one there, but that was self defense."
First class, as always. Honestly, your writing is kick-ass, and funny/dark/scary to boot. Don't stop!
Posted by: Benjamin Kudria | July 31, 2007 at 08:15 AM
Thanks, Ben.
I'll do my best keep plugging away as long as I'm kept appropriately medicated.
Posted by: Dean | July 31, 2007 at 08:57 AM
Out of all the Microstory Mondays you've had, I think this was my favorite.
Other memorable ones for me include "The Pitch", "Calling Home", "The Avenging Armadillo", "For the Love of Vitreum", and "Rural Unrest".
Posted by: Katee | August 01, 2007 at 11:46 AM
Self defense on the second one. I am sure she will never sleep well at again.
Posted by: Stubby LaRue | August 06, 2007 at 12:28 PM