Five Things I Would NOT Do If I Woke To Find Myself Transformed Into A Giant Beetle (or other monstrous vermin)
- Whine. No one likes whining, especially when it sounds like the chitter of Approaching Doom.
- Stay locked in my bedroom. My subjects will need to see their new overlord occasionally to be reminded of their place.
- Starve myself. When else am I going to have a biological justification to eat garbage and the occasional meaty Austrian? No way would I give that up.
- Go around without clothes. I may be beyond the petty morality of Man, but I'm not about to flaunt my naked carapace to the world. There is such a thing as common decency.
- Neglect to reinforce my exoskeleton with a leather cape or other armor proof against thrown apples.
Oh my gosh! My brother just got transformed into a giant beetle thanks for the great advice, he be glad to have it. (And I was really getting sick of him whining)
Posted by: Enna Isilee | April 13, 2007 at 02:33 PM
so you expect to soon be transformed into a beetle? OKAAAAAAY..........
Posted by: Faith | April 13, 2007 at 05:14 PM
The Deanomorphosis! *screams of terror*
Seriously, if you want to eat our Governator, you can.
Posted by: Holly | April 14, 2007 at 02:25 PM
Yes, no whining! And, man, those apples can really hurt when they rot in your exoskeleton.
Posted by: Celes | April 15, 2007 at 08:57 AM
Hmmm...someone's been reading Franz Kafka waaaaaay too much...
Posted by: Liz | April 15, 2007 at 07:06 PM