The Notloc Memo

My company uses the popular service "Webex" to conduct its meetings where attendees are in a variety of geographic locations. Usually this involves one person, acting as host, to share his or her computer desktop so that all attendees can see the document being reviewed or the presentation being shown.

The service includes a chat feature that allows attendees to send messages to the host or other attendees either privately or publicly. No one has ever used this capability since I've been at the company, and they don't even see the chat window until the meeting is over. So, when I'm bored in these meetings, especially when operating under a name that is not my own, I send messages to the host of the meeting. I've never received a response, so I can only assume that they never see what I say.

Alas, there is another related feature, "Send Transcript to Attendees" that basically e-mails a copy of all chats to everyone in the meeting. Whenever the host ends a meeting, the application asks whether they want to send such a transcript. The option defaults to "No," and I've never seen anyone do otherwise. Until today. In his rush to end the meeting and get to his next appointment, the host apparently clicked "Yes," and my silent side-monologue was mailed to everyone.

Here's a transcript of the chat in question, drizzled out over an hour and a half:

from Notloc Nala to Host: Help me
from Notloc Nala to Host: Please
from Notloc Nala to Host: Help Me
from Notloc Nala to Host: I can't feel my legs
from Notloc Nala to Host: Judy?
from Notloc Nala to Host: Are you there, Judy?
from Notloc Nala to Host: It's so dark here
from Notloc Nala to Host: Is that a rat?
from Notloc Nala to Host: I think there's a rat in here
from Notloc Nala to Host: it's eating
from Notloc Nala to Host: eating something wet
from Notloc Nala to Host: I'm scared
from Notloc Nala to Host: Who is that?
from Notloc Nala to Host: Is that you?
from Notloc Nala to Host: Wait!
from Notloc Nala to Host: you're not Todd!
from Notloc Nala to Host: Go away!
from Notloc Nala to Host: Go away!
from Notloc Nala to Host: No!
from Notloc Nala to Host: NO!
Notloc Nala disconnected.

I may actually have to retire the "Nala" identity now. What a waste of a fake passport.

Comments

[Laura]

It can't be a coincidence that "from Notloc Nala to Host" is an anagram of "controls not a lot of ham."

Clearly, there is something more going on here.

[Katee]

Yeah, I would retire Notloc Nala. Or you could just keep using it but spell it backwards.

Colton Alan or Alan Colton. whoa, that could actually be a name!