Technologies I Consistently Wish For When Sick
- Face-mounted mucous vacuum/roto-snotter
- Menthol throat-buzzer (light the fuse and swallow!)
- Anesthetic shampoo
- Electromagnetic hover suit (okay, I want this whether I'm sick or not, but it still makes the list)
- Total. Body. Transplant.
I would add on something that makes my voice come up from that scratchy, low, strange quality that makes me sound worse than a junior high school boy.
And I really want #1 right now.
Posted by: frederina | November 03, 2006 at 12:24 PM
Wouldn't #3 make you fall asleep in the shower? Hmmm...
Posted by: Liz | November 04, 2006 at 09:16 AM
As seen on TV: Introducing the all-new, powerful roto-snotter by Ronco! It's the best thing since the pocket fisherman. Get yours today!
Posted by: Gretchen | November 04, 2006 at 10:20 AM
Total Body Transplant?
Wasn't that the experimental medical procedure spot-lighted on the phenomenal "Love on Triangle, Not on Square"?
Man, that was a good movie.
Posted by: Marcus Aurelius | November 06, 2006 at 08:16 AM
#1 - can be ordered at a medical supply store or by your physician. Simply request a nasogastric tube (NG tube) with intermittent suction. Tip the home health nurse a sawbuck to drop the tube only so far as the nasopharynx. An NP tube should suit you.
#3 - is also available from Jolleys pharmacy on 11th East and 1700 South. They are a compounding pharmacy and will prepare an array of topical anesthetics in various forms - liposomal cream, double milled ointment, shampoo, liquid. They come in tubes, tubs, jars, or convenient travel size containers. I had an anesthetic mousse prepared (20%benzocaine/10%Lidocaine/5%Tetracaine) which was dispensed in an extra large syringe (generally reserved for veterinary work)
Posted by: Doc Bollywood | November 26, 2006 at 12:13 AM