The five most unsettling things to find wedged under your fingernails upon waking up
5. Animal hair
4. Bamboo shoots
3. Bits of eye
2. The mangled top half of a very tiny screaming man
1. Coffin-lid splinters
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September 08, 2006
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Explain to me how it is that you distinguish coffin-lid splinters from your average, run-of-the-mill, under-the-fingernail splinters.
Posted by: anonymous | September 11, 2006 at 10:51 AM
I think that they're a lot like average splinters, except that they come from a coffin lid.
Also, when you discover them under your fingernails, you happen to be lying in a coffin. But that's just a guess.
Posted by: the wife | September 11, 2006 at 02:07 PM