Caveat Venditor

Since I'm official moving to a new house tomorrow, I placed an ad on craigslist.org a few days ago to see if I could get any local buyers to take my 300 pound behemoth of a tv off my hands, as I really don't want to move that sucker again.
I hadn't gotten any real bites, but this morning someone named "Raymond Seaman" sent me an email asking if the tv was still available. I replied saying it was, but that I would only accept cash for it. A few hours later, I get this from Raymond:

"Hello,
Thanks for your promt reply on my inquiry.well  i am very much interested in the item and i want to make a quick purchase of it.i will make you an offer of $650 for you not to sell it to any one.i would have love to come my self to come have a good look at it but i am sorry i cannot come becos i am too busy to do just that.i have the money here with me and i want to send it throuh money order where you can recieve it cash through a verification number that will be needed for them to send it to you and also i want you to consider the fact that i am a very busy man and i have two kids to take care of and also i go to work around 6-am in the morning and come back around 11-pm in the night.that is the more reason why i can't come in person. 
        Don't worry about who will be coming to pick the item up,my fedexshipping company will be doing that for where you will not pay a dime for it.so if this is okay with you,kindly get back to me with your payment informaion of whom and where i want to send the money such as Name,Address,State,Zip/Code,and Phon number so that i can proceed with the payment."

Right. I weep for this guy's "kids." Despite his having his own "fedexshipping" company, I decided I would not be doing business with good Mr. Seaman, so I sent him the following reply:

"Hello,
Sorry ray but i just cant sell to someone who cant pay cash or even pick up the tv. tough luck on those 17-hour work days i guess the tv would be to keep your two kids company while your gone unless you have figured out how to live on 2 hrs sleep a day then you would still have some time to watch tv. if you actually have figured out how to live on 2 hrs sleep for real though i would very much like to hear your secret becos i have tried pills and water bottles and even live animals but i still need to sleep at least 7 hrs at night. i hate it cos there are so many special things i want to do at night but i waste all my time sleeping.
Anyways sorry again about not bein able to sell you the tv."

I hope he understands it isn't personal. I mean, I don't even have a "Phon," whatever that is.

Comments

[Carson]

I demand a followup post if he replies.