Friday Fives

My Top Five Personal Behaviors That Are Just As Annoying Now As When I Was Fifteen

5. Bellowing hearty fake laughs when people say things I don't think are funny
4. Eating 2-3 times faster than whoever I'm sharing a meal with
3. Referring to anyone around me as "My Fellow Program," and any authority figure as "My User"
2. Feigning attention while listening to someone but constantly muttering gibberish under my breath
1. Blowing my nose and pushily offering the used tissue to anyone who wants a "Snot Rag"

Comments

[the wife]

6. poking
7. immediately doing more anything I say is annoying
love,
your User

[Shawn]

8. Posting blog entries detailing a protein drink made from pus.

Actually, your last few entries have been really good, there's more about social commentary than bodily fluids...