Threat Level Orange

Because I've had quite a lot to do at work lately, I've been trying to analyze my responses to augmenting stress in an effort to understand why I find blood on my hands at 3:00 AM might behave differently than normal.

I've divided stress into four escalating categories: Light, Medium, Heavy, and "Get dressed, we're going to the ball tonight."

Light stress is exemplified by work and home responsibilities getting in the way of my playing video games and watching people shoot each other with lasers. Most would probably call this "good" stress. I usually react to it by not playing video games. I may also be heard grumbling.

Medium stress probably means people are coming by my desk at work or calling me on the phone more than once every two hours. Apart from the aformentioned grumbling, my eyes will start to narrow and I will avoid responding to or looking at anyone talking to me for at least 45 seconds in hopes they will go away.

Heavy stress usually involves my being in any building that isn't my home for 10 or more hours per day. I will carry headaches around for long periods and can be seen "accidentally" ramming my shoulder, arm, or elbow into the corners of walls as I pass them.

"Get dressed, we're going to the ball tonight" probably contains all of the above, plus the added requirement of having to get dressed to go to a ball. I know. It's almost too horrible to imagine, but that sort of thing does happen to me. They may not be balls, per se, but they are places where there are hordes of people gathered together. So basically the same thing. Too much of this, and I start to twitch angrily at any unexpected sensory input (like sudden light breezes or an odor of avocado), make poorly veiled sarcastic comments, and be plagued with a constant desire for good boots and a nicely-weighted bludgeon. After about an hour or two I also begin to bleed from my eyes, so I usually find an excuse to lope away into the woods, a cave, or other dark and quiet place before that (or worse) happens.

I know, I know. I sound like the perfect party guest. My wife can attest.

Comments

[the wife]

A "ball" includes going anywhere that requires you to get out of the car. Drive-through is okay, though if I ask the drive-through attendant if i can pay with a card instead of cash, Dean's stress level shoots to "heavy."

But he actually is a fun guy to be around. Really. He is. I swear. Ask anyone.

[Faith]

I believe you.
Stress: when your head shouts no but you mouth says "sure I'd be glad to."

um, this is a bit differnet, i think.