It's looking like I might have to be on a panel or two at a regional Science Fiction convention in a few months. This is mostly due to my being dragged along by the coat-tails wrapped around my leg. If it wasn't for Ms. Newbery-winninng-New-York-Times-Bestseller-la-dee-dah Hale, absolutely no one would know who I was, and care even less than they do now. Which is generally the way I like it. Above the radar there are always too many eyes watching watching watching. A good skulk, ideological or otherwise, can only occur if you're in the periphery. If someone's looking square at you, you just look ridiculous.
Anyway, I mention this not because I need wardrobe help (I have several superhero t-shirts and a Starfleet uniform in my closet already), but because I'm looking for credentials that are quick and easy to get. Awards, certificates, recognitions, you know. When they introduce me, I want to be able to say something more than just "I'm Shannon's husband." Sure, there's "I'm big," and "I have a beard," but that's nothing the nerdscape hasn't seen before. I'd like to say "winner of the prestigious 'Nalgitas de Oro'" or "Silver Hammer of Durin." Maybe "recognized as one of the top ten sexiest men over 250 pounds by Clydesdale Magazine." If one of you could found some sort of organization dedicated to Very Tiny Horror Fiction or Disturbing Blogs of The West and let me win your first award, it would be stellar.
Prize money would also be great. I accept PayPal.
How about the "She Married Me And Became Famous" club/organization, and you win "the most humble and grateful" award?
Posted by: Emily Fairchild | March 23, 2006 at 02:19 PM
Squeetus would like to present you with the prestigious Brass Goat Award, given to the website that most often makes readers laugh and throw up in their mouth at the same time. (actual brass goat not included)
Posted by: the wife | March 24, 2006 at 12:57 PM
by the way, here's the bio I wrote up for you for the con program. Feel free to improve upon it.
Dean Hale is one lucky son-of-a-gun to be married to author Shannon Hale. They are co-writing two graphic novels for Bloomsbury US, UK, and Germany. Rapunzel's Revenge will be published 2008 followed by its sequel in 2009. He's a web developer by profession and his blog www.dreadcrumbs.com has an ardent following.
Posted by: the wife | March 24, 2006 at 12:58 PM
We can award you a PhD within three weeks, based entirely on your previous work experience and relevant hobbies (such as playing computer games or collecting comic books). *Doctor Dean Hale* has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
We accept all major credit cards.
And PayPal.
Posted by: PhDs R Us | March 24, 2006 at 09:29 PM