The Truth About Light

Mr. Roy G. Biv has been lying to us. Like all good post-industrial members of Leviathan, you probably have a fairly concrete idea of what colors make up the light spectrum. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet. In that order.

Absolute hogwash.

Well, okay, not all of it. Just the "indigo" part. I mean, seriously. Let's use the "Fruit Proof" to determine the reality of a thing. Apples are Red. Check. Oranges are orange. Check. We've got lemons, grapes, blueberries, and, well, grapes again. Notice anything? No indigo. It doesn't exist.

Now don't get all fitsy because you've seen something that was dark blue before. The shade exists, certainly. It's prominence in the spectrum is the insidious thing. It's like somebody just randomly created a word, let's say "Spet," and declared it was the number between five and six. So counting to ten suddenly really became counting to eleven, because someone stuck a fake number in there. "Spet" is really equal to 5.5, but because it gets its own name, it screws everything up.

Now before you shake your head and mutter "Gee, Dean. Obsessive much?" let me explain why They stuck indigo in there. Light (think fiber optics) is actually communication. For years, alien benefactors have been beaming the specifications for plasma emitters, teleportation suits, and Very Comfortable Hats to us, hidden in the light of the sun. Our overlords don't want us to have this information, so they messed up our whole concept of the light spectrum so we'd never be able to translate the messages.

You can think I'm crazy if you want, but in a couple years when you see me teleport into the U.N. assembly in my magnificent hat, you'll know I'm about the lay the smack down. That's right. Step off, Indigo. You don't know me.

Comments

[the wife]

You should know that Dean had a grand total of two hours of sleep when he wrote this. Some things begin to make even more sense.

[Arlene]

Is indigo a close relative to mauve? I have never quite understood mauve?, either.