There are things that they don't tell you until you have a child. They make you promise not to tell anyone, but I'm going to tell you anyway. If you have a child already, then you know what I'm going to say.
There is a terrible cost associated with having a child. Not only must you pay the exorbitant insurance fees, but you must pay the hospital's patron. If I understand the dark secret correctly, each facility where children are born (and each midwife) has someone or something that acts as gatekeeper to the energies of life and health. I don't want to get too metaphysical here, but you didn't think that normal, everyday people could create life, did you? Without the patron lending its support, children are either stillborn, or, more commonly, born without souls. You all know people like that.
Anyway, that's all well and good, and I'm sure you don't see a problem with it, as surprising as it is, but what you have to pay the patron isn't money. It's baby meat. They eat it. Yes, yes, I know. Shocking. Unbelievable. But true. A lot more twins are born that anyone lets on. One of them just gets fed to the patron, and everyone forgets about it.
My wife and I were lucky enough to be at a clever hospital that just feeds the patron the afterbirth. Apparently it can't really tell the difference, as it tastes the same. Not that I'd know, since I couldn't possibly have any idea what afterbirth or baby meat tastes like. I mean, how could I? That's crazy talk.
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