My vision is fading. My physical vision, I mean. My vision of a future where man and beast work side by side under the steady hand of a benevolent insect overlord is as clear as crystal.
The human race's glorius destiny aside, I've been able to increase the acuity of my eyesight with glasses ever since I was about 17. I hesitate to say "I've worn glasses since I was 17" because, well, I really haven't regularly worn them until the last five years or so. Up until about age 28, I could get away with having bare eyeballs without any noticeable life-enjoyment penalty. I now wear them much more often, usually when driving or seeing a movie. Or if I care to see people's faces with any clarity. It hasn't really been a problem. I take them off (I have them off right now, for example) when doing "close" work.
But in the last several months, alas, I have noticed the characters on my computer screen begin to get blurry. At first I ignored it, explaining it away to my imagination or the sudden appearance of a strange ambient fog inside my office building. But the blurriness persisted, so I started doing experiments. I put on my glasses. Still blurry. I moved my head closer to the screen. Maybe clearer, but probably only because everything was subjectively huge. The edges were still blurry.
So I was confused as to what exactly was happening to my eyeballs, and was about to go back to the imagination/ambient fog theory when I suddenly sneezed. And everything became perfectly clear. And I still mean physically. No epiphanies, just clear vision. Every character on the screen was clearer than I think I had ever seen. I blinked. Still clear. I rubbed my eyes. Blurry again. And it stayed that way, no matter how much blinking or rubbing I did, until I sneezed again. After which, I enjoyed another oh-so-brief moment of clarity.
If anyone out there is a doctor or an ophthalmologist, I am soliciting theories as to why a nose explosion would clear up my vision. I'm thinking maybe a ghost lives in the vitreous fluids of my eye, and the sneeze scares it away for a while. Of course we all know that's ridiculous, since a ghost would live in our brain or sinus cavity, if it was going to live anywhere. Hence the theory solicitation. Because I just don't get it.
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