Revenge Is A Dish Best Served With Potatoes

For those of you unacquainted (or otherwise on bad terms with) US holidays, yesterday was Thanksgiving. The day is  ostensibly dedicated to the acknowledgment of all one is undeservedly blessed with (hair, shoes, elbow room), but has for many become an excuse for guilt-free gluttony. Not that I have a problem with that, since neither I nor anyone I know is currently suffering from obesity-induced heart problems. Not yet.

The main food theme for Thanksgiving is turkey, of course. Often pig meat is involved, but mostly turkey. Lots of turkey. Now, I'm not a vegetarian, but that doesn't exempt me from feeling a bit of pity for the beasts we massacre for our tables. Sure, they're stupid creatures, and they're likely not contributing in any substantive way to the betterment of the earth. But then, we all know people like that. And we're not eating them.

Or most of us aren't anyway.

And yet I feel okay about eating beast meat. Birds in particular.

And why am I happier to eat chickens and turkeys? Because current scientific thinking places birds as more closely related to dinosaurs than any other beast. Dinosaurs who used to dominate the planet, terrorizing and eating our ancestors.

That's right. So I view Thanksgiving dinner as a table of vengeance. A place where I can give Great-GrandUncle Grog, who was torn limb from limb by velociraptors, the rest he deserves. Each bite a blow against the ancestral tyranny of the tyrannosaur. When I look at my plate full of shanks of bird meat, I don't mourn the pathetic life of a caged turkey. I exult in the role I play as karmic equalizer.

Though I do get funny looks from the relatives when they hear me muttering "Who rules the Earth now, Beotch?" between mouthfuls of turkey.

Comments

[You KNOW who this is, buddy!]

Oh, man.

You are a pretty big guy, but you're positively puny standing next to an Allosaurus.

I'm just watching and waiting for them to return from the stars once their civil war has ended, Dean, to take their place as rightful rulers of this pitiful orb. And when they do, they'll want answers, my friend.

You're on my list.

And don't think I don't know about your homunculus army. Your miniature flesh golems will avail you NOT!

Oh- and Happy Thanksgiving! I hope the little Stone-Breaker had fun. :D

SO on my list.

[Turok]

And I say why be passive? Take the battle to Them, my boy!

*Especially* if they're fighting amongst themselves, as the quisling above suggests...

[Ooooooo!]

Son of Stone! At long last you reveal yourself!

The mighty Honkers will stand for your insolence no longer! News for you as well, Kiowa warrior; they've almost, *almost* discovered an antidote for your silly berries!

P.S. Andar says hi! That's right, after you decided to go solo with your *Valient* books, he decided to wisen up and join the winning team.

Mwahahahahah! Mine is an evil laugh!