And Fuzzy Stuffed Plants for the Vegan Child

As is the case with most children, my toddler son is fond of animals. Dogs, ducks, pigs, cows, monkeys, and so on. He likes them in person, on tv, and in abstract representation. There is even an irregularity in the grain of the wood in one of our cabinets that he often points to excitedly, because he believes it houses the dog spirit Chaputo looks like a dog.

Anyway, none of this is altogether odd, but yesterday evening as we sat, as a family, mooing and oinking at one another, I was struck with how odd it was that his favorite animals are the ones we eat. I mean, I guess, it's hard to really say what his favorites are, but he's only given voices (which is to say, he actually responds with a unique noise when we say "What does a X say, Max?") to the beasts we often put between pieces of bread.

Strictly speaking, I guess we can eat all animals, but the tastier ones currently being mass-produced for our tummies (chicken, pig, cow, turkey) are the ones he seems to have bonded with. I'm not sure if this is because he eats them, or despite it. I hope it isn't because he's created a "love-eat" relationship with the creatures in question. He might start thinking we, as a people, tend eat the things we are fond of.

Which is of course ridiculous.

I mean, he seems to be fond of me, too. I just don't want to wake up in the middle of the night to find tiny blunt teeth gnawing on my (admittedly scrumptious) foot.

Comments

[Emily Fairchild]

My friend has come across children that are also fond of animals, but to the point that they believe dangerous types are cuddly comforts to bad dreams. As he was browsing through the Internet he soon found that for only $150 he could purchase three emus and one bad-tempered "guard" llama. He is now toying with the idea of animal fear therapy. Getting a kid with too many colorful, chubby ideas in his head to hug a llama that in turn only spits at and kicks him will surely prevent desires to live with sharks and/or bears. Llamas are so cuuuute (and probably tasty) that it would show the kid that cute doesn't equal cuddly. Maybe that lesson would go on to apply to the child lifelong. There are some mean cute thangs out there.