Corporate Spy

I think one of my co-workers is a spy. Or a spy-helper, at least.

He's been posting encoded messages on the whiteboard in his cubicle, which is hung up in such a way as to allow anyone walking through the building to see it. Anyone, including his spy contacts.

Now, apart from being almost unintelligible, the messages he posts are also numbered, which is why I think they are code. On the surface, they appear to be pithy witticisms about business efficiency, but they don't really make sense.

They're either weird permutations of widely known idioms,
"1. Don't waste your time counting chickens when you should be laying eggs."

Absurdly obvious statements,
"2. Remember, power tools need electricity to work. Screwdrivers don't."

And even more absurdly obvious things, with emphasis placed on unsuspected words.
"3. Doing nothing takes less time than doing something."

Now, what reason could anyone possibly have to put such things up to share with the world? None. Exactly. So they must be secret messages. He must really be saying something like

"1. Don't worry about the poultry army. Just plant the bombs."
"2. You won't be able to neutralize the target with a Lightning Gun, you will need to use a screwdriver."
"3. It will be easier to steal the stuffed bear than to destroy it outright."

Of course, these might not make much sense either. But at least they make more sense. At least to me.

And I'm not even a spy, of course. I'm just a regular guy. Yup. No secret codes here.

Comments

[emilyf]

I hadn't read this one.....I don't usually laugh out loud too easily. smile, sure. But laughs require more. for some reason this one did it for me.

[me]

EAT MORE HAM

oh, wow. that made me laugh so hard! (the whole thing, not just ham)